well hell

so here's the basic problem ...

pickles wanted to work through drawing on the right side of the brain with me, which is a little awkward since she could kick my artist ass, but okay fine. then we summarily sat on the damn book for a year. at my prodding we started talking about actually doing it, but that was going to be problematic due to her school schedule and my hardcore unpredictability. then my pal louella came up with the solution: blog it and everything just works.

okay, fine.

so we set up a 'blog, more to pickles liking than mine (because i don't really care how it looks) and i started up.

i am exactly one day in when she comes in in some kind of hyper-drive funk and changes the original 'blog content, essentially leaving it all to me (but leaving grammatical errors for me to sweep up in her teenage rampage). this without telling me, of course.

the reason? "i didn't know we were starting."

i would think that my buying art supplies and setting up the 'blog might be a hint, but why approach things that way? my response: "i'm exactly one day in. i can stop and wait."

instead of saying that what i should have done is gone and thrown 100 beer bottles against the wall, because it would have had the exact same effect as my glorious statement (which is to say, "nothing") and would have been more fun.

so here's the actual problem:

anyone who's read what i've written in detail knows that i treat my 'blogs as scrapbooks or collections of specific thoughts. i don't use them as a "here's my soul and i'm so goddamn important that i think you should read about it." as i explained in oh so much detail three years ago, i'm not that interested in airing myself on the 'net.

and for damn sure i wouldn't be posting my artistic efforts here.

which means there's a lot of stuff here i'd rather not share with anyone and i most certainly wouldn't have done it on my own. i know it's going to sound paranoid -- but i assure you it's absolutely true -- i have more than a few stalkers, some of whom i'm pretty sure are (or will be) reading this.

BUT i'm also not a quitter or a runner. (unlike my theoretical co-author) i don't start, or say i start, then turn. so i'm going to keep right up here. and you, dear reader, are welcome to it.

the only reason i haven't mentioned this sooner is i wanted to see if pickles was going to re-join (she still could, i guess) and i needed to get the fire in my soul down to a merely threatening level before i wrote anything about the topic. rest assured, this will be the last time i do.

as rodney dangerfield said in caddyshack, "now i know why tigers eat their young."